i only wear white when it rains

Nothing can plunge you faster into filing for chapter 7  than “The Christmas Book” by Neiman Marcus. Now mailed out the last week in September, it also serves to underscore your utter incompetence for not yet having decorated for the holidays. I realize if I’m going to purchase the $1.5 million Dale Chihuly Pool installation featured on page 49 I might want to give Santa a heads up, but should I really be thinking about Christmas when I haven’t blown dirt out of my nose from the first pumpkin patch yet?

So although I cannot even consider locating my Dickens Village that has its own zip code, I can get excited about this Edible Gingerbread House by Dylan’s Candy Bar ($15,000).  If this doesn’t arrive Dec. 25 via FedEx home delivery, I fully intend to storm out of my living room beating fists in the air and crying, “It’s not fair. I only asked for one thing.”