about me
I have a knuckle that looks like an old man who just put his dentures in a fizzing cup of Efferdent. This is like seeing Jesus in an MRI of the cervical spine or the Virgin Mary in a Lemon Meringue Pie. I'm pretty sure it destines me for greatness.
This is me after a recent makeover by my six year old.
i only wear white when it rains 
Hello Luv,
I’ve been thinking about you and wonder how you are doing since I last saw you. I stumbled across this and I love it.
Don’t be a stranger!
Elise
Elise Schreiner
October 13, 2010 at 1:03 pm
did you really write this? love it, you give Chelsea Handler a run for her money……..xoxo
peggy
October 14, 2010 at 10:04 am
Peg: maybe if I hung upside down on my bed so my nose looked like my chin and my top lip was my bottom lip, you’d recognize me (after you peed yourself from laughing so hard a la slumber parties circa 1987).
Chelsea Handler? Well, we do have a lot in common. Both originally from New Jersey. Both blonde. Both date 50-cent.
I only Wear White When it Rains
October 14, 2010 at 10:13 am
Kimberly,
You’re brilliant, sister! And you do give Chelsea Handler a run for her money!!
I can help you learn to be poor. Call me anytime and I will give you pointers from my desk job where I make a pretty good salary, but never see the money (or my daughter) as my bank account overdraws religously twice a month without fail….
I am off to a meeting where I hope to get a free lunch from Panera.
Heather
October 14, 2010 at 11:41 am
Hello,
I happened on to your blog by some very random google search I did a few weeks ago.(I cant even recall what now) I read a few of your posts and then came back to read the remainder a few days later when I had some time. You are absolutely brilliant and hilarious! I find myself laughing aloud and telling people about your posts later!!
Your observations are right on the mark — you truly should write a column or something of the sort here in St. Pete. I definitely will vote for you to replace Howard Troxler.
Thank you for the laughs! Keep writing and let me know when the book comes out!
Lacey
September 7, 2011 at 5:15 pm
Re: Your knuckle. I’m with ya. Got a knee that looks like Winston Churchill.
Barbara
September 4, 2013 at 1:43 pm