i only wear white when it rains

because blogging is cheaper than therapy

Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

tierra verde drawbridge opening schedule as follows:

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Monday through Sunday: When I have to pee.

Written by I only Wear White When it Rains

March 2, 2012 at 3:11 pm

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thank goodness i know what sport to play to get these killer abs

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And what dumbass buys a cell phone holder anyway? Duh. That’s why God invented elastic waistband cut-off sweatpants.

Written by I only Wear White When it Rains

February 29, 2012 at 1:36 pm

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oh look

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There are worse Valentines. And for those of you calling me an “ingrate,” I’d be willing to bet you were never the recipient of a Garfield card.

Written by I only Wear White When it Rains

February 14, 2012 at 11:11 am

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here’s a thought

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Why don’t I spend as much time on my Valentine’s dinner as he did on my card? What are you guys thinking…Pop Tarts? Untoasted?

Written by I only Wear White When it Rains

February 14, 2012 at 8:15 am

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i look forward to bringing my daughter to dance class at the patel

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Because Mr. Chow is the parking lot attendant there.

“Bring money to Big Rock in Mojave Desert at dawn.”

Written by I only Wear White When it Rains

February 2, 2012 at 6:23 am

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is it too much to expect

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My bagger at Publix to rub in the lotion that extends from her fingertips to her shoulders before she manhandles my groceries and reusable (not so much now) bag handles?

Written by I only Wear White When it Rains

February 1, 2012 at 10:40 am

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heidi klum & seal split

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I heard she filed “Just got LASIK” as the reason for divorce.

Written by I only Wear White When it Rains

January 21, 2012 at 1:22 pm

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