i only wear white when it rains

When there are 67 empty treadmills between us.

Now hiring sign for…? Guess it doesn’t even matter.

To bolster support for their pro-choice stance.

I love that she felt the need to deface this public bathroom with permanent marker for a guy whose name she most certainly cannot spell and only loves “sometimes.” Let’s hope she steers clear of any tattoo parlors.

And, yes, I’m in fucking Target again.

Evidently just to see if anyone notices. Cannot come up with any other rational explanation.

Because she’s still getting a bath when we get home.

Or yet another reason to remarry?

Thanks to vinyl gloves and an entire roll of paper towels, this little birdie has just received an Osama Bin Laden-like burial seconds before it fried like an omelette on my pool deck.