i only wear white when it rains

Walking through the mall with my latest acquisition.

Since drive-thru post offices. Oh. Wait. Well, looks like no one’s getting Christmas cards from me this year!

Or the quickest way to get your husband to leave you.

…like I do International, I was gobsmacked that Macy’s got so shitty. That’s probably because I was in JC Penney’s. Phew. Luckily I avoided my mother in law who is bound to be in there. You know. Shopping for elastic waistband trousers.

To put her down the second she tries to wear elastic waistband trousers. Does the word “trouser” make anyone else giggle? Just me?

This is my Christmas gift.

And you marry her, Lucas Lightning.